One of the biggest keys to being happy is learning to love yourself. Even if everything in your life was exactly where you wanted it to be, if you aren’t able to appreciate yourself, you won’t be at peace… period.
Almost all of your relationships — past, present, and future — mirror how you are feeling about yourself at this moment.
Is it normal for you to punish yourself for your failures more than reward yourself for your success? This is certainly true for most people. Because of this, you may frequently feel that you are not good enough. It can be challenging for you to appreciate just how magnificent you truly are.
How to Truly Love Yourself
Not loving yourself can make things in your life very difficult. You will find yourself filled with, and often immobilized by, indecision and doubt about the choices that you make.
In the most severe cases of not appreciating who you are, you may experience depression and self-loathing. Not loving yourself can keep you feeling so separate that it makes it hard to appreciate anything in life.
On top of all that, if you are unable to love and appreciate yourself, you will attract people that are feeling the same way. We have talked about what to do when you’ve lost your passion, and if you want to be surrounded by a loving environment you need to first love yourself.
What Can You do to Appreciate and Love Yourself?
- Become aware of your self dialogue
If you hear a recording of yourself, you may be shocked to hear how many times you say “I’m bad” or “there is something really messed up with me.” A lot of times you will notice that you treat yourself far worse than you would ever dream of treating others.
Other examples of poor self dialogue:
“I’m not (rich, smart, attractive, good, etc.) enough”
“I’ll never be able to get that job, I just don’t have what it takes”
“It’s all my fault”
“I’m bad at this”
Once you recognize that you’re beating yourself up, you can look back and identify what it was that triggered that feeling. Really focus on what happened so you can recognize the trigger. Then choose a self-loving thought, like “I AM good enough!” Maybe call a close friend or relative and let them really love you. Really listen to them and soak in all the love that they’re offering you.
- Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
One of the most common reasons why people begin to feel inadequate is because they compare themselves to others. Don’t fall into this trap! No person is better or worse than another.
We all have different gifts and talents, as well as areas of competence that we’ve achieved over the course of our lives. So while one person may be a multi-millionaire, they may not have a hold on their personal relationships yet. Everyone is different and may not always seem to be where you think they are.
- Say “YES” More Often
The word “yes” is very powerful.
Saying yes doesn’t mean that you need to agree with what someone is doing. This is an exercise to help you better appreciate yourself.
Saying yes releases any resistance that you are feeling. Resisting feeds negative energy into the situation and perpetuates the pattern, because what you resist persists. When you say “yes” you begin to break free from the habit and open to the flow of love.
What To Expect When Changes Occur
Once you begin to truly love yourself you will likely notice a few significant changes in your life.
Areas in your life where you were feeling “stuck” and going nowhere will open up for you as you remove any resistance from them. This actually happens without any force or effort. Things just start moving as you gain greater love, appreciation and acceptance of yourself.
As you are kinder to yourself, you will attract people who will be kinder to you. Life will seem gentler as well, lifting you up as opposed to beating you down.
You will gain more energy toward everything in your life.
Ready to learn how to love yourself and fully appreciate the magnificent being you really are? Join us on a journey to discover your true purpose in life.
Live on Purpose ... Change the World!
Gakina-awiiya (We Are All Related),

Founders, HowToLiveOnPurpose.com
Creators of the Life Purpose Quest - Seven Rites of Passage
Guides and Mentors for Self-Mastery and Personal Transformation
"Teach us love, compassion and honor ... that we may heal the Earth and heal each other." - Ojibwe