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Tag Archives: phone

Children and Divorce |

January 26, 2011

| by SueAnne Magyar-Hill, Psy.D.

Divorce Tips: When Can I Date Again?

Once you and your partner are no longer married, it may be time to consider dating and networking again.

Here are some divorce tips for healthy boundaries as it relates to your children.Divorce Tips

  • Socialize away from home.
  • Don’t introduce new friends to your children too early.
  • Don’t leave your child home alone more than once a week for networking.
  • Don’t talk to new prospective dates on the phone in front of your children.
  • Do tell your children you are going out to meet friends.

Socialize away from home.

As you begin to date, don’t expose your children to the new dating prospect in your home right away. Your home is a sacred space. Give it time.

Don’t introduce new friends to your children right away.

You are just beginning to date for the first time since you were married. You may meet many new friends before Mr or Mrs Right appears.  Save your kids from early exposure to people that may not be a good fit.

Don’t let your child be home alone more than once a week for networking.

Dating is a new behavior and divorce means a new start for a family. Don’t let your kids feel a loss of You. Help them understand that your friends are important to you and you do need some time with them.

Don’t talk to new prospective dates on the phone in front of your children.

Keep your conversations private. Your children may be very sensitive and have a heightened awareness to your conversations. They may wonder who you are talking to. Avoid this to keep the anxiety down.

Be open and do tell your children when you are going out to meet friends.

Having friends is important.  Let your children know you are meeting new friends and you may be a little nervous about it. Your openness will teach them to be open with you.

The key is to allow yourself to network and date once your marriage is final and always be sensitive to your children’s feelings and needs as you do.

In support…

Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill

Founder of Empowering Children Of Divorce
EmpoweringChildrenOfDivorce.com

P.S. Do you like Secret Missions? How about personal challenges?

I Am A Gift To The World 21 Day Challenge


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Children and Divorce |

January 24, 2011

| by SueAnne Magyar-Hill, Psy.D.

How Does Divorce Affect Children If You Made Poor Choices?

Have you made some poor choices and now wonder… how do I undo them so I don’t screw up my children or cause this divorce to be even more harmful?

Effects Of Divorce On ChildrenUnfortunately poor choices can occur but the good news is… some poor choices can be undone.

Just as you learned when you were younger, when you make some poor choices, the goal is to learn from them and not repeat them. This is exactly what you want to practice as you are going through divorce.

As a Psychologist many patients ask me the question… “How does divorce affect children?”

The quick answer is...

  • Let your child know when you have made an error that you know has affected them.
  • Apologize sincerely to your child, and let them know what you will do differently.

These steps are the same steps that you would want your child to do if they made a poor decision.

So for example… Let’s say last night you were talking loudly to your sister-in-law on the phone about your ex in an angry and negative way and you know your child overheard some of the impactual things that you said.

You would go to your child and say something like…

“I’m sorry. I know I was talking to Aunt Karen loudly and you heard me say some unkind things about your father. I was wrong to do that and you have the right to be protected and not hear any negative things about your father or your mother and I am truly sorry. Next time I’m having a conversation I will not say harmful or negative things about your father.”

By doing this process and owning your errors, you give your child permission to talk to you about other times where they might have felt violated, harmed, or injured.

In the navigation of divorce you will have opportunities to undo and your your child will appreciate your openness.

In support…

Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill

Founder of Empowering Children Of Divorce
EmpoweringChildrenOfDivorce.com

P.S.  Do you love challenges?    What about Secret Missions?

I Am A Gift To The World 21 Day Challenge

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Elder Care |

January 19, 2011

| by Ina Gilmore, M.D. ("The Knitting Dr.")

Elder care: How can you prepare for caregiving after becoming a caregiver?

Most family caregivers don’t plan or study to be caregivers ahead of time.

Many don’t even consider themselves caregivers.

What do they consider themselves?

Children . . .grandchildren . . .spouses . . .

Why?

Well one big reason is the call and need for elder care often comes unexpectedly.

At the age of 79 Sarah had a heart attack.

Her daughter Karen got the call in the middle of the night. Her mother was in the emergency room, about to be admitted to the Coronary Care Unit.

Her mother would be unable to go home alone from the hospital.

In a heartbeat . . .Karen became a caregiver.

Elder care: How can you prepare for caregiving after becoming a caregiver?

Caring for someone else is hard . . .especially when you don’t feel prepared.

Here are some tips to help you in your caregiving responsibilities.

What is a caregiver?

Simply put, a caregiver is someone who looks after another person because he can no longer look after himself. The caregiver may be paid or unpaid.  And they can be professional . . .family or . . .informal caregivers.

Caregivers are needed for a variety of reasons including illness, injury and aging.  It may be a temporary condition or permanent.

In the United States, there are millions of caregivers. It’s estimated there are 52 million household caregivers providing care for someone 20 years old or older in the U.S. alone.

How do you prepare for caregiving after you become a caregiver?

When you’re a caregiver, you know there’s no instruction manual provided.

And no, it’s not too late to prepare even when you’re in the midst of caregiving.  Although your time is likely more limited with the added responsibilities you’ve assumed.

Here are some tips to help you start . . .

1. Claim caregiving

While you may not have chosen caregiver as a role for yourself, you can still make it your own.

You bring yourself to your caregiving.  And only you can do it your way.

When you go beyond just accepting to also claiming it as yours, you’ll likely find the energy of your burden shift.

Sometimes it’s sudden and immediate . . .and sometimes it’s a more gradual shift in energy.

In claiming it, you may find doors opening to discover it’s no longer as big a burden or maybe it’s no longer a burden at all. You may also find your purpose in caregiving . . .maybe even beyond caregiving.

2. Learn about caregiving

Discover everything you can about caregiving and the resources you have.

Information on caregiving is available on the Internet, in books, in magazines, and local health care providers including hospitals and nursing homes.

Not all services are available in all areas.

The health care provider for the person you’re caring for may have up-to-date information. If you live in the United States, you may also want to check with your local county or city Area Agency on Aging. They should be in the government section of your phone book, possibly under “Aging” or “Health and Human Services.”

While you may not need assisted living . . .a housekeeper . . .or more skilled care today . . .knowing the available options can make both today’s decisions and future decision easier — and less stressful for all concerned.

And while you’re talking to the health care provider, you may want to see what your options are if — or
when — the disease or condition progresses.  Knowing what to expect can help you ask the right questions.

3. Know the disease or condition.

Learn about the condition of the person you’re giving care to from their physician or other medical provider.

You should ask what to expect as they recover from an injury or as their disease or condition progresses.

Having an idea what may occur can give you time to provide alternatives. And prevent you from being unduly stressed and caught off guard.

With caregiving — and its associated stresses and responsibilities — the last thing you need is a surprise!

4. Create your support system

Caregiving can quickly become a 24-hour-a-day, 7-days-a-week j-o-b.

One person cannot do it alone. Even if you just need a short break, you need to be able to take it.

Many experts recommend regular respite care or mini-vacation breaks to prevent overwhelm.

You need to explore your options before caregiving becomes overwhelming and you risk getting ill.

Each situation is unique. You may need someone to help you with laundry or meals. Perhaps someone’s available to take over the caregiving for a weekend or nights.

And maybe someone can provide other support such as financial support, or grocery shopping, or something else?

You may be surprised at how supportive your family, your friends, and your church can be when they know you need help.

Reducing stress makes caregiving more enjoyable and less of a burden.

5. Include your care recipient

Just because you’re caring for someone, don’t forget to include her in decisions.

She may have information you don’t know about. She may also have definite ideas about what kind of treatment she wants . . .or doesn’t want!

Asking her what she wants and keeping her involved helps her feel important. Often the person you care for doesn’t want to be an invalid or a burden.

Remember just because you’re taking care of someone doesn’t mean she should be treated as a child. She may be able to participate in her care more than you think.

Often there’s little or no time to prepare for caregiving.  And many times caregivers need to learn all they can in a hurry.

Caregiving can be less stressful . . .especially when you know what to expect and are prepared for possible problems.

For information and updates on caregiving, sign up for Caregiving~wire. Just fill out this form for your free subscription . . .

May you have a safe caregiving journey . . .good health . . .and happiness,

Dr. Ina

Caregiving With Purpose


This site uses an audio content reader.

Disclaimer:

The information on this website is for educational purposes only.  It does not replace information or recommendations from your own physician or other health care provider.  This site does not advocate medical or other health-related self-care, and encourages you to obtain advice from your own personal physician or other health care provider.

This web site is not intended to replace medical, financial, legal, or any other professional advice.  Please use your own good judgment and consult with your own professionals before applying any ideas found within this website.

Disclosure:

I may have a marketing connection to a brand, topic or product listed on this website. Through the use of affiliate links contained herein, I may collect fees from purchases made.

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Starting A Home Business |

January 18, 2011

| by Gina Gaudio-Graves ("The JV Queen")

Check Out This New WordPress Plug-in [HOT!]

This is the first time this year that I’ve had a chance to write.  So before I say another word, I want to wish you a VERY Happy New Year!

I’ll bet you were even starting to feel like I had forgotten about you!
(Don’t worry — that wouldn’t EVER happen!)

So why has it taken me 3 long weeks to write?

Well, I’ve been spending my time healing from my recent ankle surgery and spending time with my parents (Mom and Dad both!) for the first time in 6 years.  The last few days have been typical of the last few weeks…

On Saturday, I finally started to put a small amount of weight on my ankle for the first time since my fall on 12/12/2010.  It feels good to stand up again — even though I have another 3 1/2 weeks in my cast!

On Saturday night, Bill’s Dad lapsed into a coma.  It’s been a year to the day since the doctors found his malignant brain tumor and he’s not expected to make it for longer than another day to a week.

It’s been a tough year for my inlaws and in many ways, it will be a blessing for him to no longer be suffering.

So Bill is now in South Bend with his Dad while I’m in Arlington Hts., IL (a suburb of Chicago) with my folks.

I chose to stay here as it’s still difficult for me to get around in the snow and also because my Dad got rushed to the hospital Sunday morning after aspirating into his lungs.  So he’s still there recovering from pneumonia and kidney issues.

On top of all the personal stuff going on, I’ve been planning my vision and goals for 2011.  I hope you’ve been spending your time doing the same so that you can make 2011 your best year ever as well!

By 2/1, the new Directions University site will be ready — complete with a new social network and an affiliate program.  It will be the first time in nearly 2 years that you’ll be able to promote our products and earn a commission for yourself.

Stay tuned in future emails for details on the new site and where to register, etc.

While working on the new site, I’ve been spending a LOT of time working with WordPress.  I’ve found some FABULOUS plugins that allow your blog to do some really nifty stuff!  A handful are free, but the better ones are all things you’d have to purchase.

One of my favorites is a new tool put out by my good friend, Devon Brown.  Devon calls it “WP Lap Dance”.

When I heard the name, I almost ran in the other direction.  But boy am I glad I didn’t!  Let me tell you, without any exceptions, this one tool can literally cause your blog to become more profitable right this minute!

What does this mean to you?

Well, let me put it this way…

Stop whatever you’re doing…

Go ahead and shut the door…

Turn off your phone…

WARNING: This Will Blow Your Socks OFF!

==> http://askggg.com/wplapdance

You’re about to discover how to turn ANY WordPress site into a cash spitting ATM machine…INSTANTLY!!

==> http://askggg.com/wplapdance

This is one of the coolest things I’ve see in the past 2 years….PERIOD!!

Check it out now…Devon is the dude on the video.  He’s a little crazy and he’s practically giving this thing away. I’m not sure how much longer it’s going to be around!

==> http://askggg.com/wplapdance

If you don’t yet have your own WordPress blog — one installed on YOUR hosting and on YOUR domain name, then let me tell you this…

You NEED one!

Without a blog of your own, on your own domain name, you’re going to have to work 10 times harder to get the same search engine rankings and to get anywhere near the traffic that you could get with your own blog.

Worse still, without a blog of your own, on your own domain name, you’re probably not going to convert more than 2% of your visitors into customers.

With a blog of your own, you’ll convert more like 5% to 10% of your visitors into customers!

That means that you could be getting at least 5 times more sales – making you 5 times more money!

So what the heck are you waiting for?

If you don’t think you have the technical skills to setup your own blog on your own hosting, then let’s overcome that issue right now as well…

Download your “Gina Blog” installer at:

http://www.askggg.com/expertwordpress

Even a 10 year old can install a blog using this special installer in under 15 minutes.  It won’t require you to have any special skills or knowledge.  If you know how to download a file to your computer and upload it to your website, you can get your WordPress blog started right NOW!

(It even has a video to show you how to upload a file to your website so even that’s not an excuse any longer!)

Once your blog is setup, it’s just a matter of writing a post and using a “Simple 6 Step Process” and you’ll be getting traffic quickly.  I even give you step-by-step instructions for writing your post, putting it onto your blog, and the entire 6 step process in Lesson 4 of the 30-Day IM Challenge.

The Challenge is totally FREE too!  So if you haven’t started the 16+ Lessons yet, get started right now at:

http://www.askggg.com/30days

After your blog is setup, make sure that you install Devon’s new plugin (again, it’s as EASY as uploading a file and clicking the “Activate” link) so you can start getting those s’ales rolling in effortlessly!  Grab your copy now before Devon comes to his senses!

==> http://askggg.com/wplapdance

Ok, with your blog setup, your new plugin installed, and instructions for writing posts and using them to get traffic to your blog, NOW you’re ready to make 2011 your best year EVER!

If you’d like some great words of wisdom for doing that, you’ll find a great poem at:

http://askggg.com/newyear

To YOUR Abundant Blogging Success!

Gina Gaudio-Graves
“The JV Queen”
Dean & Founder, DirectionsU.com
Creator, 30DayIMChallenge.com

P.S.  If you’ve been missing the 2 Inspirational Quotes on Success each day on the DU blog, you’re in luck!  We didn’t  realize that our quote feed only had 2 quotes a day through the end of 2011.  So, we’re working on new quotes right now and they’ll be back by the end of the week!  Subscribe to our RSS feed to get 2 Success Quotes each day at:

—> http://www.directionsu.com/feed/atom

P.P.S.  If you use the feed link above and you only see a portion of each article, it’s caused by a bug in Firefox.  Just re-open the feed in a different RSS reader such as Internet Explorer or a Google Reader and you’ll see the full text of the articles!


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Children and Divorce |

November 29, 2010

| by SueAnne Magyar-Hill, Psy.D.

Are You Putting Your Children In The Middle?

Are You Putting Your Children In The Middle?Without even realizing it, you may be putting your children in the middle by using them as messengers.

This situation occurs frequently, and although you are acting with the best intentions, by sending messages to be delivered to the other parent by your children you in fact are using them as messengers.

The message could be as simple as a father saying, “Hey, ask Mom if she received any info from the accountant yet in the mail.”, or mom saying, “Hey, ask Dad if it’s okay if I pick you up early on Sunday night.”

But, sometimes the messages can be more serious. They can go to the extreme like, “You can tell your mother or father that they can take a hike.”, or even something worse.

So, the question is…

Should children carry notes or verbal messages back and forth between parents on visits or overnights?

  • Are verbal messages ok?
  • Are hand written notes ok?

The bottom line is… Kids should never be put in a position to be a messenger in that way.

Another example of this is: You pack your child’s backpack or their luggage and there is some correspondence you want the other parent to see so you put it in your child’s suitcase.

They may or may not know about it, they may or may not open it up, but either way they were the one carrying it, they were the messenger. It could be good information, it could not be good. It doesn’t really matter what the correspondence is.

The golden rule is… Children have rights, and one of those rights is to not be a messenger.

Not verbally, not over the phone. You should never put your children in the middle.

So, how should divorced parents communicate?

As parents you must communicate directly with each other. For anything that you need to discuss or for any questions that you have, the responsibility of asking that other parent lies on you.

This is actually a great thing. This is where the communication should be, between you the parents, and this will only strengthen your communication alliance as parents for the children.

So, be glad that you take this responsibility on, that you never impose that position on your children to be messengers, and that you set the example to them as good communicators.

In Support…

Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill
Support System Inc.

PS: If you have not picked up your copy of my book yet,  grab your copy of Felicia’s Family Divorces now.

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